{Major} Jaxen Update

Wow, seems like a long time since the last time I updated.  Just goes to show you how busy my life has become!  No one very said that raising kids was easy, and now I know why!  It's the most difficult yet rewarding job there is.  But I think I'm doing a pretty good job at it.  Although some days, my children would tell you differently!

Jaxen has gone through all his testing and we've had our meeting with the school district.  I finally have all the paperwork and results in hand so I can share with you all.  Sorry ahead of time if this is long, but they tested so many areas!

First off, I got the official diagnosis for Jaxen's sensory testing.  Jaxen does demonstrate sensory concerns. The tests showed that Jax is not overly sensitive to input from his environment.  He scored in the probable difference level in the low registration and sensation seeking areas.  Which indicate that he seeks sensations MORE than other children his age.  Children who are sensation seekers are active and continuously engage in their environment.  The often make noise all the time, fidget, rub or explore objects with their skin, chew on things, and wrap their body around furniture and people as away to increase input during tasks.  They may appear excitable or seem to lack consideration for safety while playing.  The low registration score indicates that Jaxen may be missing cues in his environment, especially in the auditory area.  This could be due to his constant need for movement and sensation seeking behaviors which do not allow him to notice more subtle things.  He scored in the probable difference levels in four out of nine areas overall.  These scores indicate that he is a definite sensory seeker. 

This means that once he starts school, Jaxen would be provided a sensory 'diet',  This 'diet' would provide him with scheduled, regular times when Jaxen would be guided to play in ways that would meet his sensory needs.  For example, his teacher could not take away recess for bad behavior.  And there could be times when Jaxen becomes a distraction in the classroom that a para would come and take Jaxen on a walk or engage him in an activity that would meet his sensory needs and enable him to return to class ready to focus on classwork.

Even though we did not report any hearing or vision concern, Jaxen was tested in both areas.  He passed a functional vision screening in both eyes.  He also passed both the Puretone Hearing Screening and Typanogram screening for hearing loss. 

For Speech and Language, our main area of concern, Jaxen was tested with three different tests:

The first test, Goldman-Fristoe Test of Articulation-2, assesses the child's ability to produce consonant sounds.  With an average score being 100, Jaxen scored a 69 with 63 errors.  This scores him at BELOW expectations for his age.  He could not produce all age appropriate sounds in at least one word context.  The errors that he made, should be correctly produced by the majority of 3-year-old children.  Jaxen's errors were substitutions and omissions of sounds.

The second test, Receptive-Expressive Emergent Language Scale-3, is a 132-item checklist that uses observational information reported by the parents to identify any major receptive or expressive language problems in infants and toddlers up to three years of age.  {This is the test that Jaxen took at 20-months old that scored him with an age equivalent of 10-months}  Again, with an average score of 100, Jaxen scored a Receptive Language Score of 83 with a Below Average Rating and an Expressive Language Score of 76 with a Poor Rating.  The total Language Ability Score for this test was a 75, putting him at an age equivalent of 21-months.  {He was 34-month-old at the time of testing.}

Receptively, Jaxen understands just about everything {it's not uncommon for this score to be below average} but expressively, Jaxen has some work to do.  He is unable to use a least 50 words, say at least two new words each week, use real words when something has happened to him, use words ending in with -ing, have definite beginning and ending sounds, use words when needing help with personal needs, tell you where something might be (in, by, on), and refer to more than one by adding (S) on the end of words.

The last speech and language test, was a Speech Sample.  This test identifies his sound errors.  A 3 year old should be about 75% intelligible to an unfamiliar listener.  Jaxen was judged to be about 50% intelligible.  This test also inspected Jaxen's oral structures and revealed no abnormalities that hinder speech production.  His mouth, tongue, lips were intact and symmetrical.  Jaxen demonstrated appropriate strength, range of motion, and accuracy of his oral musculature.  Which verifies his burn injuries are not the cause of his speech delay.  His scar tissue is not limiting his ability to produce sounds!

With a score of 100 being average, Jaxen scored a 108 for Cognitive and Intellectual Skills.  Which means even with the speech delay, Jaxen's IQ is ABOVE expectation for a 3 year old.  {We NEVER doubted his intelligence!  He is TOO smart for his own good!}

Academically, Jaxen was given a test called the DAYC (Developmental Assessment of Young Children), which is five sub-tests that measure cognitive, communication, social-emotional development, physical development, and adaptive behavior.  With an average score of 100, Jaxen scored an 84 with a below average rating. 

And finally, Jaxen scored a 120 in the area of social-emotional skills.

SO, after reviewing ALL this information, Jaxen meets criteria for Sound Systems Disorder - Articulation and/or Phonology.  The evaluation report documents the extent to which Jaxen's sound production is outside the limits of State designated normative data and addresses the adverse education impact of the child's sound system disorder.  The student is unintelligible to the unfamiliar listener and the team has determined that as a result of the disability the student requires special education.

So the good news is Jaxen will start speech classes at Cass-Midway in December.  He did not qualify for preschool services.  He is super smart and the ONLY thing is lacks is the speech and language.  Once his speech is caught up, all his other scores will improve also.  At this point there is no need to doubt that Jaxen won't be a caught up and ready to enter kindergarten on time.  He's got plenty of time and a lot of people in his corner.  We meet with Jaxen's 'Team' next week to put on paper a plan of action.  His team not only includes Jerry and I, but also the Elementary School Principal, Speech Teacher, Director of Special Services, and the Parents As Teachers Director. 

Checking In

Whew!  Things are getting a little crazy around here.  Every kid has something different going on and Jerry is getting to work a ton of overtime at work!  Which has been a total blessing, it couldn't have come at a better time.  But with him being gone an extra 2 days a week, it's been a struggle to rearrange my schedule and take all the kids to appointments that I didn't plan on taking them to.  But we are surviving, let's start with the youngest.

TYLER

Tyler's lead screening hasn't come back from the lab yet, I blame the government shutdown.  I think it's driving the nurses crazy, they keep calling me to tell me that it's still not back.  The rest of Jaxen's blood work came back and it wasn't perfect.  So little man must get his blood drawn again next week.  Tyler's white blood cells were elevated, which could mean something as simple as he was fighting some type of infection.  However, the scary part is that it could also mean something as horrible as leukemia.  So they want to recheck to verify the white blood cell count went back down to normal levels.  I'm not freaking out yet, because I honestly don't think anything is wrong with him.  He is a very healthy child.  But it's always nice to get the bad things ruled out completely.  So keep him in your thoughts because next Thursday or Friday is going to be a rough day for him.

Ty has finally added a few more teeth to the bottom jaw!  LOL, besides the two front teeth, Tyler just got his first set of molars.  It's quite funny how he has the front teeth, then molars but missing the ones in between on both the top and bottom.  I imagine teething has been the reason that he's been a total bear lately!

JAXEN

Since the last time we wrote, Jaxen has had his R.E.D meeting.  Basically, we had a meeting that went over everything we knew of Jaxen and determined if there was any addition information or testing needed.  He has about 3 - 4 more tests that need to be done to determine if he qualifies for services when he turns three.  It's all been a little overwhelming lately, he is doing so well and has come a long ways. . . I just hope he can continue to get additional services before he has to start school.  

Jaxen's tests are on November 1st at a Preschool in Belton.  Then two weeks later, November 15th, we find out if he qualifies for services beyond three years old.  Fingers crossed, I would love to see him continue on with at least Speech Therapy.

JACOB

This kid is going through some type of middle child phase. . . he has to be!  He's a mess. Crying about everything, getting angry about silly things, causing trouble just to cause it, and destroying things.  At first, I thought he was acting out because Jerry was gone more than he use to be {and I still do to a point} but now I think it's a boy/age thing.  The other little boy we watch after school is doing the same thing and driving his mom nuts, too!  I've really tried to make time for just Mom and Jacob activities and when Jerry's home he tried to include Jake in the "mainly" stuff.  Like tinkering in the garage.  I think he's just trying to find his place in the family.  He's not a baby anymore, he's a big kid. . . but he's not the oldest.

Jacob is doing really well in school, we have been having our issues on the bus.  And I'm afraid it won't be long until he gets an actual bad note sent home.  He doesn't see the bus as an extension of school, he see it as playtime with his buddies and that's getting him in trouble.  Jake is definitely a follower.

CHLOE

Little mama is doing good.  She's got her own thing going on most of the time.  With her is mostly Girl Scouts or the orthodontist.  She's doing great in school, really proud of her and the effort that she's putting towards her school work.  Third grade is suppose to be the harder transition.  And according to her midterm report card she's getting all A's and one B.  

Parents As Teachers

Because of budget cuts last year, we were unable to get the boys (Jaxen & Tyler) into parents as teachers (PAT)- even with Jaxen's speech delay.  The school district got cut down to providing services for only 10 families.  You can imagine how super excited I was during back to school night when the PAT coordinator found us and told us that they were able to offer services to more families and we were on her list.

Yesterday, was the first time Mrs.R came out to the house.  It was nice to finally have a program that Tyler could participate in to.  He was so excited that he got to play with the toys and be included.  The PAT coordinator, Mrs. R, is part of the team helping with Jaxen's transition into the school district. So we took this opportunity to try and give Jaxen a few tests that he needs done as party off the transition process.  Jaxen just wasn't having it.  Mrs. R was new and Jax just wouldn't cooperate.  Both his hearing and vision screening were scored as inconclusive.

Tyler's screening showed was I'm beginning to suspect and have plans in place to deal with -- he too is delayed in the speech and language area.  I am not jumping to get him enrolled in services as of now (he is only 15 months old) but I do have everything documented and ready to go when we feel we need to.  The screening showed that Tyler has no concern with his gross motor skills - climbing, throwing, walking.  He is on the boarder with fine motor skills - coloring, recognizing and pointing to objects in a book.  He is definitely behind "average" in speech and language.  So now it's all about timing and when we want to get Tyler into services -- and again, I'd really like to wait until I know he just not a late talker. 

Tyler - 15 month checkup

Tyler weighed in at 25.5 pound and is 30.5 inches tall.  He is in the 60th percentile verses other kids his age. 
Only concern for him is that one again, he is not saying any words.  I take that back, he will say Chloe.  He will copy me when I call for her, it's very cute.  So I guess they say he's not saying any functional words yet.  Which he should be saying new words daily... and have a vocabulary of 15-20 commonly used words by 18 months (which is 3 months away).

Our doctor seemed ready to refer him to Children's Mercy for a speech and language evaluation but I asked to make note of it and refer us at 18 months if there is not improvement.  Lee from first steps said I didn't need the referral from CMH and that we can get Tyler tested with them simply as a parent referral. I'm not sure which route we are going to take but I do know if he still hasn't spoken in 3 months we are starting early intervention.

Tyler also need to have his blood drawn for a lead/iron screening.  So I had to take him over to the lab in the hospital for them to draw blood.  Poor little dude did not enjoy that and was completely ready to go home after all his shots and pokes!

Jacob - 6 year physical

Jacob's checkup this afternoon proved that he is 100% healthy and a small fry!

He is 3 foot, 6 inches tall and 40 pounds.  However, he is only it's the 5th percentile in weight and the 15th percentile in height!  Which by itself can be alarming, but he's been on a constant growth all his life.  His chart shows he's gaining weight and getting taller every year.  Plus, his momma was a pretty small kid growing up.  :-)

Justice.

I'm not sure how many of you know our old landlord, Trig.  He was like family to Jerry.  A while back, he was accused of having a sexual relationship with a minor.  Trig has always denied these accusations.

When we moved out of his house, we separated ourselves from him and completely denied him access to our children.   This was a decision Jerry and I made together and one that was not received well by Trig.  In fact, that it's why we had most of the issues we had legally with him.  He was no longer in control of our lives/decisions and tried to control whatever he could by makeing our lives a living hell.  He failed.

Months followed and almost a year ago, Trig was finally arrested and charged.  He posted a $50,000 bond and has been dragging out his trial ever since.  His kids and ex wife have been raked over the coals.  And he has put them in a financial bind by dragging this all on while not helping to support his kids.

I am relieved to report that a week ago, Trig took a plea bargain and agreed to pled guilty to avoid life in prison.  Although he still it's adamant that he didn't do anything wrong, Trig got a 7 year sentence with the Department of Correction.  And even though it appears he will only have to serve 2.5 years behind bars before he is eligible for parole, he will NEVER get custody of his children and will NOT get to have them overnight without a babysitter.  Yay!

This now allows Trig's ex wife to take the kids and move them closer to family.  They are struggling with all this information and changes in their life's, and they need the support of family.  I will be very sad to see them move away but I know they need away from all this crap.  Then when Trig is released, he will have to drive to see them. . . And will have to go through a different state's legal system to even gain access to them again. 

While this whole deal is sad, I am so happy to report that justice has been served!  I just hope there is a special place in hell for him.

Jaxen's Transition Meeting

This morning was our transition meeting with the school district about Jaxen transferring into the their early childhood education program.  It was an easy meeting.  The meeting consisted of Jerry, myself, Jaxen, our Missouri first steps coordinator, the head of Midway's Special Education Department, Midway's parents as teachers cordinator and head of Belton School Districts Special Education Department.  We all sat around the table and discussed our concerns for Jaxen and the difficulty he is having with speech, language and concentration.

We were there for quite a while because Jaxen has quite the file started!  The professionals were very nice and answered all our questions and concerns.  Our next step is our RED Meeting on the 27th, which means we go over all the information that is documented and decide what tests Jaxen should receive.  But between now and the 27th, Jaxen is having a sensory screening (to determine if he can feel pain - where at and to what extent).  {Jerry and I are not sure if he feels pain like the rest of us, most of the time he gets hurt he only reacts for our benefit.  So this will be an interesting test!} And we have a hearing and vision screening that Jaxen will have to complete next week before our RED Meeting.

After our RED Meeting, and his testing, we will get back together to discuss what services Jaxen will be offered.  Our choices are:

1) Continue as is with Speech and Language Therapy but through our school district.  Probably twice a week.

2) If Jaxen is developmentally and behaviorally behind we will have the option to send him to an early childhood education preschool in Belton. The school will provide a bus or van to transport Jaxen from our home to school and back, Monday through Friday. (Not sure how I feel about this... my baby on a bus!)

3) Or our last option is to discontinue services until Jaxen enters Kindergarten.

The next month or so will determine what we can do for Jaxen once he turns three.  Because at three, Missouri First Steps ends their services with him.  The process of transitioning will be extradited because Jax turns three in just 3 short months and if he qualifies for services he can potentially start them on his 3rd birthday.  Normally, this process of transitioning it's started 6 months out, but because that was June and no one was at school then, we are getting a late start.

Please wish it's luck, this is uncharted waters for us! Once again, Jaxen has to do things differently! Lol

I hope I haven't last or confused anyone. If you have questions please ask! Most people are quite about the delays their children have but I feel the need to share it all with you.  You are apart of Jaxen's life and can see the difficulties he faces.  And I think it's important for other parents to see that, delays happen in all types of children. You can't ignore it and I won't.  There is no evidence that Jaxen's burn accident caused this delay, while I am sure it didn't help anything- Jaxen might have been delayed regardless.  With the information and resources we have, Jerry and I are doing everything we can to give Jaxen the best start on life and in education.

It's been a while...

Whew, it's been a long time since my last update.  I am hopeing to have more time to update this blog now that I have an awesome phone that is blogger friendly.  Hopefully, now I will be able to update from anywhere... lucky you! :-)

Lots have been going on around here since the last post, and there it's no way that I can go back and catch you all up, so we will just pick up from here. 

A couple weeks ago, our family has started a new reading tradition.  We make sure to take time after dinner /before bed to sit and read a story out loud.  Jacob it's starting to read and with our help he is responsible for reading a paragraph, Chloe is responsible for a page and Jerry and I take turns as needed.  And I'm proud to say, as of tonight we have finished our first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone.  It was so much fun reliving the wizarding world with the kids.  Jacob was hilarious when he finally figured out the Harry was a wizard!  It was fun listening to Chloe *guess* who was the bad guy.  She had everyone pegged as the bad guy, everyone except Professor Querral. Lol.

We are in the beginning phase of getting Jaxen transferred to the school district for his speech therapy.  Tomorrow is our transition meeting, where all our questions will be answered and new tests will be ordered to determine how far Jaxen has come and how much farther he needs to go.  I am exited for the new phase, but I do not want to say goodbye to our speech lady who has worked so hard to help us get Jaxen to where he is today!  Wish is luck tomorrow!

Jacob and Chloe are both doing well in school.  Jacob comes home with more redirects and gets in trouble a lot more than Chloe ever has, but truthfully nothing has been completely out of line.  And most of the boys get in just as much, if not more trouble. 

Tyler has finally found his voice.  It's a lot of baby talk and screaming to be heard but it's music to our ears.  He has yet to speak real words but I think it's coming.  I believe he is still behind but I know what we are doing now!

What Six Looks Like.

I am not really a major crier.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I cry–when it’s appropriate to do so.  Funerals. The occasional wedding if it’s particularly beautiful or meaningful. Schindler’s List. Things that normal people cry at. I am definitely not an over-crier. I don’t cry at commercials or cheesy Hallmark movies or at the drop of a hat. And, when I do cry, there’s usually a beginning and an end. I cry. I get it out. I stop. Normal crying.

However, since I first started to understand the magnitude of what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday morning, I have cried a lot. I cried when I heard the terrible news. I cried when I went to pick my son up early from school. I cried when I told my husband what had happened. I cried when I talked to my girlfriends about it. I cried at church when we prayed for each victim by name. Off and on for going on three days now, I have cried. And this is despite going out of my way to not watch anything about it on TV or read too much about it online. I’m actively trying to avoid it, but I still find myself crying more than usual.

I mentioned this to a friend last night and she said that she couldn't seem to stop crying either. When I asked her why she thought that was, her answer was, for me, a revelation. She said, “I think it’s because we know what six looks like. We see it every day . . . in all its glory.” And she was right. Because, you see, this friend and I both have a six year old child. I, a six year old son. She, a six year old daughter. Both are in first grade. Both, I imagine, so heart-breakingly similar to those twenty kids who were so brutally and senselessly killed on Friday morning. And we do, indeed, know what six looks like. We do see it every day. In all its glory. We see the good, the bad, and the ugly. The beautiful and the infuriating. It’s in our face. We live it and breathe it.

We know what six looks like. We know what it smells like. How it can go from the fresh scent of shampoo and soap to the musky aroma of “dirty child” in what seems like minutes. How it resists getting in the bathtub . . . and then resists getting out half an hour later. How sweet its hair and skin and clean jammies smell when it sits on your lap and asks you to read it a bedtime story. We know the unmistakable fragrance of the occasional accident in the middle of the night caused by too much milk and no last-thing-before-bed visit to the toilet.

We know what six looks like. We know what it sounds like. How it cries and whines. How it sings and laughs. How clever it is and how much more clever it grows every day. How it sounds out words on signs as we drive past in the car and how happy it is when it gets them right. How annoying it sounds when it teases its little sister and how kind it sounds when it soothes her when she falls down and hurts herself. We know how lovely the words “Mommy” and “Daddy” and “I Love You” sound in its six-year-old voice.

We know what six looks like. We know how it tastes. How picky it is. How it thinks chicken nuggets or macaroni and cheese are gourmet foods. How much it loves candy and cookies. How it tolerates broccoli and carrots. How it absolutely abhors brussels sprouts. How it thinks french fries are a vegetable. How it thinks chocolate milk was created by God himself. How it thinks pizza is its own food group. We know that six is happy when it finds “I love you!” written on a napkin in its lunch box at school.

We know what six looks like. We know how it feels. How big it’s getting. How fast it outgrows its clothes and how it’s no longer a baby, but not quite yet a big kid. We know the weight of six in our arms. How we can barely carry it anymore, but try anyway because we can’t quite bring ourselves to accept the truth. We know how easily six gets its feelings hurt if someone says just the wrong thing or if this friend or that one doesn't want to play with it or it gets in trouble at school. We know the velvety softness of six’s skin. We know the still-silkiness of its hair.

Yes, we know what six looks like. We know six’s gap-toothed smile and its gangly arms and legs. We see how it jumps and dances. How it twirls and runs. We know how funny six is. How absolutely charming it can be. We know six’s terrible jokes.  We know its crooked “S” and its backwards “3.” We see how it teeters on the cusp of the world of books and all the joys of reading, but how it’s not quite ready to fall in yet. We see how six can’t decide if it wants us to stand beside it or not. We watch it take two steps towards independence and one step back towards us every day. We know how sturdy and strong six is . . . and yet how frail and fragile.

We know what six looks like. How beautiful it is. How precious. How brightly it shines with promise. How much it looks towards the future . . . toward seven, eight, nine, . . . How much it looks like forever.

We know what six looks like and can only in our worst nightmares imagine how devastating its loss in this senseless and evil way would be.  We can only barely imagine the wreckage and the despair and the utter hopelessness that would be left if six were brutally and suddenly taken from us. We know we couldn’t bear life without it.

Yes, we know what six looks like. And we know that, to us–like it must be for those other mothers and fathers in Connecticut–six is the whole world.

October Calendar

Monday, October 1st -
Tuesday, October 2nd -
Wednesday, October 3rd - Family Pictures // Girl Scout Meeting (Jr/Cad/Sr)
Thursday, October 4th - Girl Scout Meeting (Daisy/Brownie) // Missouri First Steps Evaluation
Friday, October 5th -
Saturday, October 6th -

Sunday, October 7th -
Monday, October 8th -
Tuesday, October 9th -
Wednesday, October 10th - Girl Scout Service Unit Meeting
Thursday, October 11th - Girl Scout Meeting (Daisy/Brownie) 
Friday, October 12th -
Saturday, October 13th - Tyler 4 months old

Sunday, October 14th -
Monday, October 15th -
Tuesday, October 16th -
Wednesday, October 17th - Tyler Dr. Appt // Chloe's Math Night // Girl Scout Meeting (Jr/Cad/Sr)
Thursday, October 18th - Chloe's Pancakes for Parents
Friday, October 19th -
Saturday, October 20th -

Sunday, October 21st -
Monday, October 22nd -
Tuesday, October 23rd -
Wednesday, October 24th -
Thursday, October 25th - Parent Teacher Conferences
Friday, October 26th - No School
Saturday, October 27th - Heidi OFF work

Sunday, October 28th -
Monday, October 29th -
Tuesday, October 30th -
Wednesday, October 31st - Chloe's School Party // Early Out // Halloween

Words

Jaxen's vocabulary lists:

1. Understandable words

• Go! (aka Doh!)
• Hello
• Bye
• Milk (aka Mock)
• Dog
• Moon
• Daddy
• Mom
• Uh-Oh
• Eww!
• Vvvroom! (sound of a car)

**************************************************
     2. Un-understandable words (sounds that he makes for these words are ALWAYS the same - thus, he *thinks* he is saying the right word.)

• Chloe
• Jake
• Ty
• Out

It's taken a while, but I think we are finally starting to understand and communicate better with Jaxen.  After his diagnosis, we were given a lot of advice and opened a lot of doors and different ways of thinking for Jerry and I.  Jaxen's been trying to communicate with us all along, Mom and Dad just had to *learn* to understand him.  It seems that Jaxen is starting to say more words and communicate better non-verbally with us. . . it just proves he's known everything all along.  Mom and Dad were the problem and have finally figured out how to show Jax how to communicate with us better.  Things are only going up from here, with the help of Missouri First Steps, we plan on catching Jaxen up in the language department.  Hopefully, by his 3rd birthday he will be caught up completely and not need speech therapy through the school district.  However, failing to meet this goal isn't negative -- we already had in place a retesting date with the school district for a re-evaluation next school year (August/September - after school starts up).  And at that time, if more speech therapy is needed Jaxen will begin speech classes at the school. 

So ultimately, I could have 3 kids in Cass-Midway next year!  :-)
Though only 2 get to ride the school bus.

**This list will update as I think of other words Jaxen says OR if he starts to say more words.**

Golden

7:44am the phone rang.  Caller ID showed:  Walmart and a phone number not from around here.   The DC's District Manager, Debbie Hodges, was calling as promised.  She was super friendly and very nice.  She didn't know that the DC had already taken care of me and she was glad that they did.

She understood my reserve to name names but promised that the information that I gave her would be regarded with the strictest of confidence and that Jerry and I will never see any ramifications from my conversation with her.  She wants to use my "issue" as a learning tool.  Whereas, this should never happen to another associate.  While the policy is that after an LOA, I am given 30 days to find a position within the facility BUT the DC made a couple mistakes and I was put through something that should never of happened. 

FIRST - I should have been told everything up front.  Communication is key.  I went into the office before Maternity Leave knowing that I was going to go over the 12-weeks LOA and asked straight out how this was going to affect my job.  Not once was termination every mentioned.  Not once did they say I would have to reapply for positions.  The only thing that was told to me is that I would have a position just not my position when I returned. 

SECOND - When I was able to return, since my job was not filled or even posted yet, I should have been offered the position on August 4th, not a month later.  It should have been HR's priority to get me back working.

We spent about 30 to 40 minutes talking on the phone.  Debbie was really curious as to what I thought was the biggest issues at the DC.  She likes to take a little knowledge away from every issue that she deals with and she wanted to know what I thought.  I told her that working in a store and working at the DC were completely different - as they should be.  But I said that management in the DC looses sight of the people.  In a store, you are reminded everyday why you are there.  You are there to service the customer.  Because without them, you wouldn't have a job, a paycheck or a company.  In the DC it's not as transparent.  We are up against production and how fast we can ship groceries to our customers, the stores.  It's all business, no play.  And while I believe it needs to be business orientated, I look at it like this:  To management, we, the associates, should be their customer.  We come to work and do the job, without us there would be no business to run.  We make them look good.  If we fail at something it looks bad on them and the iron fist comes down.  But if we succeed, they look good and get promotions.  HR is the Human Resources Department, they should bend over backwards to help every associate that crossed their desks.  I literally got shoved from desk to desk with a different answer from everyone.  Not a person in there treated me as if I was important.  I was just another needy associate who was wasting their time because they had something better to do.

A while I was promised by both Debbie (DM) and Kathy (GM), that what stems from my issue will be much more than a conversation, I will never see or know the end result.  As it should be, I will never see the punishments handed down.  I have to trust that they all use this as a learning experience and know that I am here to stay, I can't and won't be swept under the rug.  And while I expressed my feelings very well, Debbie asked if she could use my words in a quote.  She said that she won't use my name but she has conference calls with ALL her DC's and she said that this is something that she wants them all to hear.  I opened up a new way of thinking with the whole associates are the DC's first customers.  And they need to help us, make them look good.  Communication has got to be there.  It is the key to running a successful business.

Unlike Kathy, who was disappointed that I didn't go to her first (I did but that's another story), Debbie was thankful that I got her involved.  She told me that if I ever had an issue or concern with the DC, I am welcomed to get into contact with her at anytime.  :-)  She valued my opinion as a long time associate and thanked me for my dedication to our company.  She also said that it was refreashing to hear honest complaints with resonable ideas to fix them.  I wasn't just a hostile employee just complaining to complain.  I was positive and obviously respected among my peers.  I am a gem to the company and she doesn't want to see me go anywhere but up.  :-)  However, I did let her know that at this time in my life, my first priority is to be a mother.  I would love to become management some day but only after my kids are grown.  But what kind of wife would I be if I hadn't mentioned Jerry's desire to go up in the company.  She asked about him and his goals and I told her that he is wonderful father and husband and I know that one day he will be a huge asset to the management team at the DC - thus the biggest reason I didn't want to rock the boat with my contacting her.  Then of course, we shared mommy stories.
 
After our conversation, I am not 100% sure that Debbie was the one that contacted Kathy and gave me my job back already.  However, Kathy knew something so if it was the Ethics Department that contacted Kathy, she might be surprised when she gets a call from Debbie.  Or vise versa.  Ooops.  ;-) In my defense, I was trying anything to get my job back!  lol

Answered Prayers

It's only been a day since my last blog posting and already SO many things have changed. 

I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not, but in case I didn't I'll say it again.  Last Monday, August 27th, I contacted Walmart's Global Ethics Office with basically the same statement I posted yesterday.  They responded with this statement: "The follow-up date generated for this report is 2012-09-03.  If your reported issue has not been resolved, please refer back to the website on or after the scheduled date.  If you have additional information, you may provide that at any time."  I didn't think too much more about it because it was the day before my pending termination - a little too late it my eyes.

On Wednesday, August 29th, I also sent an email to Debbie Hodges, the District Manager over the Distribution Center.  I got a communication started with her and she seemed generally interested in helping me out and wanted to talk to me over the phone on Tuesday.  After our initial communication, I also mentioned to her that I had been in to fill out a transfer request to a store and the DC promised to contact these stores and get back with me within a day or two with my options because I was literally running out of time.  Now against the DC's knowledge, I had been in  contact with these stores and kind of know what my options are going to be.  And as of yesterday, I have failed to hear back from the DC about anything.  I wrote in my email, "The communication is simple not there.  No one has followed through with anything they have said. . . if I want answers I have to go in and see them face-to-face.  Only then am I a priority."

I followed up the the stores that I had applied for - like my last blog states.  And yesterday morning, I got a message from the Independence Walmart offering me a Support Manager position.  Working four 10 hour days, then off three days.  It seemed that my choices were coming in by the hour!  To heck with the DC.

Debbie followed up with an email asking me to name names.  I eventually did name names, but I made it quite clear that my husband also works within the DC and he is looking for a promotion.  I wanted nothing that I did or said to affect him in any way.  I'm the one they are all going to be mad at and I did not want it being taken out on him.

At 12:30 this afternoon, I got a call from Kathy Dailey, the General Manager over the Distribution Center.  She is the highest level of management within our building.  She started off apologizing about the lack of communication and wanted to know why I couldn't of had this conversation with her.  I kindly reminded her that I did reach out to her about 3 weeks back and she didn't have any answers for me and told me to be in contact with Travis, our HR Manager.  So when I wasn't getting anywhere with personnel, I went above all of them.

Our conversation was a nice one, she stroked my ego telling me that I was an asset to the company and she wanted to know what I wanted.  What do I want?  I want a position within the DC - anything besides order filling - that worked an opposite of Jerry.  That's when she asked me if I would take my old position back.  HECK YEAH!! 

So here's what I know - she read part or all of my communication and someone contacted her, either the Global Ethics Office or the District Manager.  Heads are going to roll in the HR Office, she asked questions, took names, and at one point said, "I'm going to make this more than just a conversation."

So the DC finally came to there senses and I start back at work on Saturday @ 4am.  I really would like to think that they wanted me in their facility. . . but I'm sure the answer to my employment lies within the letter to the ethics office, communication with the district manager, or the fact that 3 different stores were offering me a type of management positions.  No matter what it was - I'm SO glad all it's all over with and I'm back at my high paying job!  Not to mention - I should return to a 50 cent raise for being with the DC a year.  And September 12th will mark 6 years at Walmart. . . this time around!  :-)

Heidi. Job. Stress.

Wow.  Where do I start? 

One of the main things keeping me from this blog for the last month has been my stress level with my pending employment.

Here's the story:
On May 1, 2012 because of a weight restriction I was forced to start maternity leave. At that time I was told by the HR Manager at DC 6065 that I would have a job when I returned to work, just not MY current position. I delivered my son on June 13, 2012, shortly after I received notification that my job was no longer job protected and on July 24, 2012 my position would be up for grabs.

On August 1, 2012, after getting a release to return to work on August 4, 2012, I went in and talked to the HR Manager who told me that I would have to apply on line to job positions in the DC and I could not return to work until I had a position. However, my old position had not been posted or filled yet. He said it could take up to a couple pay days to start working again. I received notice that I had until September 4, 2012 to find a position or else?!?! I have since applied for 9 different positions and have currently been turned down for all of them. I am at the end of my rope, I never thought it was going to take this long to find a position. I have been employed with Walmart for over 9 years.

I love working for Walmart and haven't had a single problem until now. I feel as though I am being punished for taking maternity leave. Had I known that nothing was guaranteed, I would have rethought or fought the early maternity leave. But I was told point blank that I would have a position when I came back. I never knew that I was going to have to reapply for jobs without a guarantee of position which could ultimately result in my termination from the company.

What is the next step? I have never had anything less than a meets or exceeds expectations on an evaluation. Do I just sit back and get fired for nothing? How can I get a position back within the DC? Surely I am qualified for any position Walmart has to offer - In the store level, I have worked as a sales floor associate, jewelry sales coordinator, layaway/service desk, money center/site2store, cashier, CSM, and Department Manager, and on the Distribution Center level I am a fork lift driver.

I love this company. With all the negative press and associates that just want to bad mouth our company, I stood behind it, welcomed change and embraced it. I am dedicated, strong, and positive associate. I'm not saying that I have bad days, but it never shows at work. I am a hard, independent worker. I take pride in this company, it's my company. Nothing has ever been handed to me and I worked hard to get where I've been and where I am currently within the company. I feel as though I am an asset to ANY facility and getting told that I could get terminated without any reason - is difficult to swallow.

It has been a super stressful time with all this uncertainty.  One thing was certain - I HAVE to have a job.  There is no way we could survive on one paycheck.  No way at all.  The fact is we are struggling now, things need payed, things need done.  Groceries or bills?  What do you pay first?  Arg!  It's been stressful.  We never thought I'd still be without a paycheck one month after I was able to return to work.  Even though the stress is there, Jerry and I have gotten everything taken care of.  When we think there is no way to get all the bills payed - we do.  When we think there is no way to stock up on groceries - we can.  When birthdays and school picture days come - everybody gets what they need.  I am so proud of Jerry and I - these days of struggling are hard and I can see how they pull marriages apart.  Jerry and I have taken life by the horns and pushed on.  Stress is there, all the time.  But the kids don't see it, it doesn't get in the way of life.  We went on living.  And I'm SO happy to say that it's paid off.  There isn't anyone else I'd like by my side though all of this.

 

After giving the DC a month to find me a position, Tuesday I put in a transfer request back to a store.  Basically, I'll take ANY position to keep me from termination.  After hearing nothing, I went to Raymore Walmart and found Shawn (co-mgr) and straight up asked if he had a position for me.  He laughed and playing said yes.  Then his jaw dropped and an evil grin crossed over his face when he realized I was serious.  He was like a kid Christmas morning.  After explaining to him that I had to have something by Tuesday or I'd be terminated for failure to return off LOA.  He said he'd put me in any position to keep that from happening.  But he had Department Manager positions opening up and he wanted to make sure that I'd still be able to qualify for them (normally there is a 6-month wait after accepting a position).

 

While I was there, the store manager returned from lunch and told me that the manager from Harrisonville Walmart called asking about me wanting to know if I'd be a good HBA Department Manager.  Of course, he said nothing but good things about me and then told him that he didn't want to share me and that Raymore wanted me back.  Now I haven't been officially offered the HBA Department Manager yet.  But Harrisonville is closer to home and a guaranteed Department Manager.  Both pros!!  However, Raymore pays more and can't offer me a department manager department manager yet.  There are some opening soon, just not opened yet.  Raymore did hint that it wouldn't be long before Departments came open and they are lacking in experience. 

 

So basically, I have a big decision to make.  I went from pending termination to more than one option!!  I think I'm leaning towards Raymore, even though they could only give me a cashier/sales floor position as of now, there are promises for department manager with more pay than Harrisonville.  And I KNOW, that if a kid has an appointment and needed to come in late/leave early they would let me.  I don't like shopping the Harrisonville store, the people are rude and the store is trash.  Even though it's closer and a Department Manager position, I'd be stuck for at least 6-months and I like Raymore so much better.  I have friends in Raymore, and Management is willing to take me back without a second thought.  And they'll reinstate me all my time in and pay if the DC does in fact terminate me.  Raymore is like home and I feel they have my back 100%.

 

Management was super excited and before it was all said and done I had 5 member's of management in there telling me not to worry.  No matter what the DC does come Tuesday, the store can reinstate me and give me a position.  So I am to enjoy my holiday weekend and we will figure it all out next week! 

 

Oh the stress - thanks for visiting but go away!  I am so thankful for everyone and their positive words to me.  I really have great friends and some wonderful angels looking over me.

Jaxen's Speech :-(

Speech and Language of the 18-Month-Old

*Bold/Italic are the things that Jaxen CAN do @ 20-months*

 

Uses 10 to 20 different words

Recognizes pictures of familiar persons and objects

Starts to combine 2 words, such as "all gone", "Daddy bye-bye"

Uses words to make wants known, such as "more", "up"

Imitates words and sounds more precisely

Points and gestures to call attention to an event or to show wants

Points to own toes, eyes, and nose

Brings familiar object from another room when asked

Turns pages of a book a few at a time

Follow simple commands

Makes a tower of 3 to 4 cubes

Knows and says the names of 5 things

Hums and may sing simple tunes

Mixes real words with jargon, on occasion

Develops a play routine

Practices words and word combinations

 



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As you can see, we have some work to do.  Jaxen's speech evaluation appointment at Children's Mercy was a few days ago because he wasn't talking.  And Jaxen was diagnosed with what Jerry and I already knew. . . his lack of talking is NOT normal and it's NOT because Chloe and Jacob do all the talking for him.  Jaxen was diagnosed with a learning disability.  {Man, that is hard to say out loud!}  Jaxen's Receptive language is completely average for his age group.  He understands and comprehends language as well as any other 20-month-old.  However, Jaxen does not have the ability to express himself.  Scoring only a 75, he was diagnosed with Expressive Language Disorder with Articulation Impairment.  Age Equivalent: 10 months.

As hard as it had been to get an official diagnosis and to have to say, "Jaxen has a learning disorder", I now know that we can do something for him.  He's not alone anymore, we are all on the same path.  As our family, I think it's important to keep you all up to date.  We have to push him to say something and at this point a sound is as good as a word.  But we can't push too hard, he NEEDS to have a positive experience with talking or we won't get anywhere. 

A learning disability.  That is a hard pill to swallow for me, somehow I feel responsible.  Where did we go wrong?  I feel like we've failed him in someway.  Of course, it's only a personal feeling because I know in my heart that Jerry and I have done and are doing everything we can for Jaxen.  We've had him tested early, and from what we are told, NOW is the best time to get him back on track. 

With starting so early, Jax will have an easier start in school.  There is a HUGE possibility that by the time Jax starts kindergarten, he will have caught up with his peers and be "cured" of his disability.  With that being said, no disability is curable, just manageable.  He most likely will need extra attention for a while, and not necessarily Special Education classes or Speech and Language Therapy.  With intervening early, Jaxen should progress well in school.  It will be the responsibility of his teachers and Jerry and I to make sure that he doesn't fall behind and to get him the resources he needs to be successful in school.

I know school is a long ways away for Jaxen, but that is the goal that we have set for him.  Ideally, we want him ready to enter kindergarten.  Of course, his speech and language will still be developing so the use of a speech class may be needed.  However, the doctor said that Jaxen's burn to his mouth and tongue could have just set him back.  They have seen cases where when the child has experienced a trauma in his life, there speech/language is affected.  But with speech therapy he should catch up pretty quickly.

Now for our game plan.  Because Jaxen is 50% behind in two categories - Expressive Language and Articulation he should qualify for Missouri First Steps.  Which is like a "Head Start" Program; however, Head Start doesn't start until age 3.  I have called Missouri First Steps to see if he qualifies for speech/language therapy but I'm still waiting to hear back from them (Holiday Weekend).  Children's Mercy Hospital put him on their speech therapy waiting list but we are looking at at least a 4 to 5 month wait.  And I am looking into Parents As Teachers through the school district for help.  

I've made a million calls for help and advise.  We are really wanting to get him on track before he falls too far behind.   Yet another hurdle that we will climb with Jaxen!!  It's a good thing we love him!!  Keep him in your prayers.

September Calendar

Saturday, September 1st - KC Pet Project Work Day {postponed b/c of rain}

Sunday, September 2nd -
Monday, September 3rd - Labor Day // No School
Tuesday, September 4th - Jerry's Orthopedic Appointment @ 1245pm
Wednesday, September 5th - Jacob's 5-year Well Baby Checkup @ 9am // Tyler 12wks
Thursday, September 6th -
Friday, September 7th - MY Birthday!!
Saturday, September 8th - Heidi returns to work after 18 weeks off!!

Sunday, September 9th -
Monday, September 10th - Chloe's Reading Challenge Party @ 315pm
Tuesday, September 11th - Jaxen & Tyler WIC Appt @ 10am
Wednesday, September 12th -
Thursday, September 13th - Tyler 3 months!
Friday, September 14th -
Saturday, September 15th - Freeman Homecoming

Sunday, September 16th -
Monday, September 17th -
Tuesday, September 18th - Girl Scout Registration Night @ 5pm
Wednesday, September 19th -
Thursday, September 20th -
Friday, September 21st -
Saturday, September 22nd -

Sunday, September 23rd -
Monday, September 24th -
Tuesday, September 25th - Early Release @ 114pm
Wednesday, September 26th -
Thursday, September 27th -
Friday, September 28th -
Saturday, September 29th -

Sunday, September 30th -

August Calendar

Wednesday, August 1st - Heidi Doctors appointment @ 10am
Thursday, August 2nd - Jerry's doctors appointment @ 815am
Friday, August 3rd -
Saturday, August 4th - {Released to return to work}

Sunday, August 5th -
Monday, August 6th -
Tuesday, August 7th -
Wednesday, August 8th - Jerry, Chloe, Jacob, Jaxen's dentist appointment @ 2pm // SU Meeting @ 630pm // {Tyler 8wks old}
Thursday, August 9th -
Friday, August 10th - Joanna's Baby Shower @ 6pm
Saturday, August 11th -

Sunday, August 12th -
Monday, August 13th -
Tuesday, August 14th - Back to School night @ 6pm - 8pm
Wednesday, August 15th - Jerry's MRI @ 4pm
Thursday, August 16th - 1st Day of School // Tyler's dr's appt  @ 930am // Jaxen KU Burn Appt @ 2pm
Friday, August 17th -
Saturday, August 18th -

Sunday, August 19th -
Monday, August 20th -
Tuesday, August 21st - Chloe's Orthodontic Appt @ 130pm
Wednesday, August 22nd -
Thursday, August 23rd -
Friday, August 24th -
Saturday, August 25th -

Sunday, August 26th -
Monday, August 27th -
Tuesday, August 28th - Jacob's 5th Birthday
Wednesday, August 29th -
Thursday, August 30th -
Friday, August 31st - Jaxen's Speech Appt @ 10pm

Packing

Heidi
* Shirts, Pants, Underwear, Socks - 4 days
* PJs
* Tablet & power cord
* Cell phone & power cord
* Camera & batteries

Chloe
* Shirts, pants, underwear, socks - 4 days
* PJs
* Nintendo DS & power cord with games

Jacob
* Shirts, pants, underwear, socks - 4 days
* PJs
* Nintendo DS & power cord with games

Jaxen
* Shirt, pants, socks - 4 days
* PJs
* Diapers & Wipes
* Sippy cup
* Toys

Tyler
* Clothes - 4 days
* PJs
* diapers & wipes
* bottles
* Formula
* Boppy Pillow

Accident Prone?!

Sunday afternoon, we went to a celebration picnic for Relay For Life.  It was a family event at the park - a way of saying thanks to those who worked so hard.

Jerry wanted to go "make an appearance" before he had to head to work.  I got the kids ready and fed them before hand. . . you never know what they are going to eat at events like these and I like knowing that they have at least eaten something.  So while we ate and visited with friends, the kids played on the playground.  Chloe took Jacob and Jaxen and pushed them on the swings.

Then the kids decided to play on this huge hill - which I told them to be careful on because they could get hurt.  Needless to say - Chloe took a pretty good tumble. . .

Knees - all bandaged up.

Arm

Other arm

Face

Then in a seperate accident, while chasing after Chloe - Jaxen took a tumble and scratched his face all up.

What am I going to do with these children?!  I think they need to be wrapped in bubble wrap!

Doctors & Getting Old

It's been an insane week - too many appointments to keep up with.  Last post was about Jaxen's -month well baby last Wednesday.  On Thursday Tyler had a very uneventful 4-week well baby.

Friday the 13th made my baby 1 month old and brought with it the big appointments.  Jaxen's checkup at the KU Outpatient Burn and Wound Care Clinic.  They gave him the all clear with the burns on his hand and arm.  However, next month we are seeing the head of plastic surgery Dr. Bhavsar to re-visit the idea of plastic surgery to the scars on Jaxen's face.  The concern isn't with the coloring. . .it will fade to the color of his skin.  The concern is for the thickness of the scar. . . as of now it will be noticeable for the rest of his life.  We have a special prescription lotion that we get to apply to his face 2-3 times a day that is suppose to help reduce the scar tissue.  The lotion is so special the Walmart Pharmacy had to order it for us and it's going to take 7-10 days for it to come in.  Hopefully, the lotion does it's magic and Jaxen doesn't have to have surgery.  However, Jerry and I are prepared for some decision making on getting the plastic surgery for Jaxen.  As you all know, this is the year to get it done if it needs to be done since our insurance is maxed out. 

On the way home from Kansas City, Jerry asked me to call and get him an appointment with our doctors office to get his hand xrayed.  finally!  He has been in pain for weeks!  Every time anything touched his thumb he about came unglued it hurt so bad.  And it was getting worse by the day, Friday he couldn't even hold a cup of water to drink!  So it was time to see a doctor - WHY ARE MEN SO DIFFICULT?  Had it been me or the kids, he would have insisted we be seen immediately.

The doctors office was able to see him that afternoon.  The kids and I went with him but ended up staying in the car because it was just easier - Jaxen and Tyler were sleeping, Chloe and Jacob were watching TV.  Well, once again Jerry's blood pressure was extremely high - this is the second time he has been in the doctor's office within the past month and registered a high blood pressure reading.  :-\  {After his doctors appointment we went to Walmart and the blood pressure machine told him to see a doctor ASAP}  Needless to say, Jerry came home with a prescription for high blood pressure medicine and goes back August 2nd for a full blood work up to get everything under control.

His hand xray showed that he didn't break or fracture his hand - instead he was diagnosed with gout. 

Gout is a kind of arthritis.  It can cause an attack of sudden burning pain, stiffness, and swelling in a joint.  Gout is caused by too much uric acid in the blood.  Most of the time, having too much uric acid is not harmful.  Many people with high levels in their blood never get gout.  But when uric acid levels in the blood are too high, the uric acid may form hard crystals in your joints. 

The doctor told him that gout is found mostly in men and it can bring a grown man to his knees overnight.  So Jerry also got a prescription for an anti-inflammatory to take care of his pain.  The gout will go away in a few weeks but they can't really treat the gout and put Jerry on blood thinners because of his high blood pressure issues.  So hopefully, this all helps him manage his pain and come August 2nd they figure out all the little things that are wrong with him. 

Geez!  He's falling apart on me already!  I know I shouldn't but I can't help but tease him.  It's all really funny to me, I thought I was feeling old and falling apart after birthing four kids!  Although he's making me scared to turn 30. . .

. . . I have two weeks before all the doctors appointments start up again. . . I think I might have to get a bigger calender!