Horrible Week

Well "Hello, November!"  This year is going fast!  Only 48 days until Christmas and 61 days left in this pregnancy!

This past week has been absolute hell at work.  It's the Christmas season and everything is due all at once. . . so all at once, that you can't get it all done because there isn't enough time or man power in the day.  And of course, they want it all done now - with no help, no excuse and no overtime.  Well guess what?, it doesn't happen.  I was so aggravated when I left work on Friday, it literally took crying and hours of fuming before I was able to forget about work.  I know my emotions are higher because of this pregnancy but I hate not feeling a sense of accomplishment after working so hard.  In fact, I worked so hard that I made myself sick and worked through pains that would have put any "manager" in the doctor's office.  And I promise you, and myself - that it will not happen again.  Because at the end of the day, none of my accomplishments were acknowledged, only my failures.  So to them I say, Kiss it!  I am going think of only myself and my unborn son from now on. . . management can get there happy butts out of their office chair and come help if it's so important!  (Okay, I'm off my soap box now. . . )

Now, I can go on and on and on about work this past week but I'll spare you all the details!  What I will tell you is that I have never had a pregnancy feel this way. . . now-a-days it seems like I am in constant pain.  I have no idea why this time it's so different from Chloe and Jacob BUT they do say every pregnancy is different.  And sadly, I'll admit that I even try to keep some of the pain from Jerry.  I know I shouldn't but I hate getting him all worried and concerned; however, I will tell you that he is very smart and can normally tell if I'm hurting or in pain.  (TMI Warning. . . I'll keep it as nice as I can but it might get personal!  LOL)  During the last couple weeks, baby has moved into the head down position - of course, I can't see him but I know this only because I know exactly were his feet are most of the time!  He's a kicker. . . and a powerful kicker at that!  He makes so much movement, the kittens attack my belly when it moves!  Plus the vaginal downward pressure is horrible.  It's not a constant pressure that I feel all the time, but I feel the pressure more often than not.  I personally don't think I "waddle" all the time (maybe others would say differently), but I do walk a little slower, move a little gentler, and breathe a little deeper when he starts pressing downwards.  It feels like he can reach out and wave if he wanted to.  I am anxious to see if they check me for effacement/dilation on Wednesday.  In fact, my biggest fear is going to the doctor on Wednesday and the doctor tells me that I have to cut back my hours at work and/or bed rest.  Since she's already told me once to slow down and I haven't - I've actually sped up - if that's at all possible!  In the back of my mind I feel that this isn't a normal feeling that I should be feeling right now. . . I can see feeling this way at the very end but not right now.  We will see, what the doctor says on Wednesday. . . Jerry's going with me so he will rat me out if I "forget" to mention anything important! 

Another important "To Do" I'm going to get done on Wednesday is mine and Jerry's leave of absence paperwork.  That way if we needed the time off unexpectedly early we are covered by FMLA.  Just because you never know. . . plus it will give me the opportunity to call-in whenever I don't feel quite right or I'm in pain - without it counting against me.  So I won't make myself go to work after puking all night and not keeping anything down like I did on Thursday.  Again, just another promise I made myself after finding out I could actually work myself to the ground and no one would care. 

Other than being pregnant and miserable, I've been doing a lot of Girl Scout stuff lately.  I've had to attend my Leadership Training and Level Training - which was ALL DAY -9am to 4pm!!  I've been recruiting new girls and of course, selling those Girl Scout Cookies with Chloe!!!  This coming week is no different, I have a Service Unit Meeting and a Daisy Bowling Activity. (Along with working/doctor's appointment - so much for slowing down this week!)  So hopefully, I can get all my laundry and mommy chores done tomorrow, and fingers crossed I can start getting the nursery cleaned out and set up!  I think our little guy is going to be here before I get anything ready for him!  But no promises, it totally depends on how I feel. . . hopefully, that extra hour of sleep with help me tonight!!  LOL

**I will update again tomorrow with belly pics and other whatnots.**